Still Not A Proper Writer

I was at my second book launch and talking about a writer who was the on the same list of best debut novels as I was. I was saying how impressed I was, because he is “a proper writer, not like me!”

And then I realised what I had said.

I thought I’d feel like a proper writer when I got a publishing contract. Nope. Then when I got my advance. No. When I saw the first proof copy of House at Baker Street. No. When I quit my day job to write full time. No. When I had a book launch. No. When I saw my book on shelves, ready to buy, and saw people buy them, and signed the books for them.

Nope.

Somewhere in my head, I still have not convinced myself that I am a proper writer. I’m not sure what has to happen for my view of myself to change. Get more books published? Get on a best seller list? Earn enough to live on without worry?

I have no idea. But I look forward to the day it happens, finally.

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One response to “Still Not A Proper Writer

  1. Maybe it’s similar to when a person realizes she’s an adult. Doesn’t happen at a certain age, or because of getting married or having a baby, although those are components. It just one day hits you, you’re an adult, for real and not just pretending to be one. I predict it will be a gradual internal shift for you and one day you’ll wake up and know you’re “there.”

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