Brainstorming

Sometimes I’m a bit uptight about getting things ‘right’.  This uptightness strangles my creativity.  There is a simple solution.  Brainstorming.

Mind you, I can easily transfer my rigid thinking to brainstorming but I’m slowly learning to catch myself and let go.

So yesterday, I finished editing my novel.  The edit was successful in that I’m loving the story as it stands but it’s now about 20,000 words short.  What to do?  Brainstorm new endings of course.

Here is a list of my brainstorms of possible endings.  They appear in the same order they came out, note how ridiculous and short the first couple are…an indicator of a good brainstorm session in my opinon.

Emily could jump off a bridge

Emily could get pregnant

Chantal could lose her mind

Eduardo might get called away

They might meet up in Los Angeles, go to Jan’s and then Emily gets pregnant

They could meet up in New York, go to the Jay Leno show and Eduardo proposed on TV

They could meet up in San Diego, go to a ball game and Eduardo proposes.  Emily says no, they go their separate ways and then meet up in Sydney and get back together. 

Of course, I’ve not included the actual ending that i’m going with – that would be telling.

 

 

Learning from a master

I’ve been reviewing my non-fiction manuscript and have decided to change the beginning. I’ve always felt like the beginning of the story lets me down a bit. Given that the MS I’m talking about was my first attempt at creative writing, it’s not surprising that my writing improved as the story progresses. While I think some of the storyline which takes place in the beginning needs to remain in the novel, there’s no need to be linear about these things. I was thinking about my options this morning and realised that I could weave it into the story later as a bit of a flashback.

As a reader, I sometimes find flashbacks an irritating and unnecessary distraction. So in an attempt to hone my skill at transporting the reader to an earlier time in my story, I’ve decided to learn from a master. To that end, I went searching this morning for my John Irving novels. While he is a master of the flashback, his skill being particularly good in A Widow for One Year.  I remember reading that book and being so asborbed in his lenghty but absolutely seemless flashbacks that when the story returned to the present time, I had completely forgotten about it.

Wish me luck and I embark on the daunting journey of chopping and changing the first third of my novel. Seriously though – I’m just glad to be working again.

Rethinking the editing process

Let me be honest, until four days ago, my fiction manuscript (Plan B) had remained partially edited and untouched for a little over a year.  *sigh*

There are a number of reasons for this but the most relevant is that I don’t like editing. 

I find editing to be finicky, annoying and a total buzz kill.  It’s a function of the left brain so it’s analytical, critical and has all those sticky rules (grammar, punctuation, writing technique etc).  Editing is like a drill Sergeant with highly polished boots and a pristine uniform who marches up, clicks its heels, calls my story to attention and expects to be saluted. *sniff*

The creative writing process on the other hand is the right brain’s playground.  It’s like a free flowing hippie, happily twirling barefoot in the meadow with a flower tucked behind its ear.  It doesn’t care about rules, limits or conforming. 

The disparity between these two functions is clear.

Back to the edit of Plan B.  When I opened the file on Saturday, I noticed that I’d stopped editing a point where the story becomes laboured and dull.  This section of the book needs to either be deleted or edited right down.   I think my drill Sergeant and my hippie have been at a standoff over this matter and I didn’t even realise. 

What to do?

I’ve pondering over the past few days and decided that I’m going to rename and reframe the process from editing which sounds cold and harsh to restyling which sounds soft and more forgiving.  I’m hoping that I can negotiate a restyle which removes the slower chapters (they’ve really got to go) but create fun new chapters so that I end up with the same word count.

Keep going

I’ve recently taken to doing 10 minute meditations first thing in the morning before work.  (Yes, even before I pour myself a coffee.)  My inner voice has been whispering to me for a while (*ahem* years) to sit down and listen.  

All the meditations I’m doing at the moment are based on the Chakras and they’re all from Youtube (because I get bored doing the same ones over and over).   

Like most meditation novices, my unruley mind wanders off a lot but that’s ok, I know this will improve with practice.  This morning, I tried a new guided Chakra Flower meditation.  It was lovely all the way through and I was able to focus better than usual.  At the end, the narrator said it was time to  receive a gift from a higher power.  The gift could be an image, an idea, a feeling – anything at all.   

My gift was two words “keep going”.  Timely really because I feel like I’m not getting anywhere with my writing and I’ve had another setback with my health this week. 

But the message was clear so I’m going to keep going.  I’m going to keep putting one foot in front of the other and do the next indicated thing…which right now is to get this post loaded up on-time.

Long time no see

It’s been a few months since I’ve posted and it’s great to be back.  Karen Fainges very kindly agreed to step in for me while I underwent a few surgeries.    Thank you Karen for doing a wonderful job. For everyone following her posts, please don’t despair – I’m sure she will make guest appearances.

So, with the surgeries behind me it’s time to get back to business. 

In the last week or so I’ve sent out some queries on Child’s Play – the nanny guide book.  I immediately received the generic “truth be told” rejection from Andrea Somberg at Harvey Klinger (funny!).  The next day, I received a proposal request from Amberly Finarelli at Andrea Hurst (thank you Amberly).  

While Amberly ended up passing on the project, she did give me some valuable feedback.  She said, It sounds like a good premise, but I’m afraid that, with the existing literature in this genre out there already, I don’t see how this stands out enough from them–particularly in this belt-tightened publishing economy.  And she’s right.  From the very beginning I was toying with a somewhat risky idea in relation to the tone of the book.  I decided to be cautious and go with a fairly conventional approach.  I don’t think that’s going to be enough in this market.  Amberly’s feedback has given me the shot in the arm I need to go back to the manuscript and give it a make-over…this time I’m throwing caution to the wind.  Absolutely nothing to lose.

I ask you all, do you have a project that hasn’t been picked up (who doesn’t, right??).   Maybe your work needs a make-over.  How could you rev it up?  What could you do to make it stand out?  I challenge you to go back and take a risk.

Hierarchy of needs

Thanks to all who participated in last week’s poll about scheduling creativity.  It appears that the majority of you think that scheduling creativity – I think you’re right.

At the risk of being accused of navel gazing, I’d like to pose another question.  It relates to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

Maslow’s theory states that there are five levels of human needs as shown in the pyramid below:

 

The theory states that as one level of need is taken care of, motivation arises to achieve the next, higher level of need.  For example: a person is unlikely to be seeking to achieve aspects of the self-esteem level if their physiological needs, such as food and shelter, are going unmet.

So, here’s my question to you.  If you’re sailing along at self-actualization level (where you’ll notice creativity features) and one of your lower level needs is no longer being met, can you keep creating?  

My second question is at what point is your creativity interrupted?  For example, can you suffer some self-esteem blows (think publisher rejections) and still keep creating?  Can you even make it through a blow to your love and belonging needs and keep creating?   Where do you find you come unstuck?

Or do you not relate to this at all?  I’d love to know.

For me, I can keep creating even when my confidence is suffering however if I drop any lower down the pyramid, my creativity comes to a grinding halt.

Scheduling creativity

The question of scheduling creativity came up during coffee with someone the other day.  I mentioned that I hadn’t done a lot of writing lately because I’d been distracted and not feeling overly inspired.  My coffee companion said something like ‘oh, I have a friend who’s very disciplined about her writing, she schedules it into her day’.

I told my companion (with an internal diva-like sniff) that discipline and scheduling kill creativity for me and that I write when I’m feeling it.  This, of course, is a luxury afforded only to those who have another source of income.

Now that I’ve had time to reflect, the real reason I’ve done very little writing work lately is because I’m editing and redrafting a non-fiction manuscript.  I don’t really like editing, redrafting and, as it turns out, writing about this particular topic.   Hmm.  Shame.  But I believe the book will sell so I’m committed to finishing it.

So in hindsight, I think my recent diva attitude towards writing was simply procrastination masquerading as creative snobbery.  Damn that procrastination – it’s a slippery little sucker.

I still stand by the fact that discipline kills my creativity, however I’m usually so excited and inspired when I’m creating a first draft of fiction that I have more of a problem stopping than starting.  It’s the grind of editing and redrafting that require discipline and scheduling.

Share your experience by participating in our poll.

Sorry to be so blunt but…

In the event you can’t leave the abuser right away or you’ve tried and found that you weren’t (financially or otherwise) ready, you need to minimize your risk of death.  I’m sorry to be so blunt but the reality is that American women are killed by intimate partners more often than by anyone else.  In fact, intimate partner homicide is the leading cause of death in African American women aged 15-45 and it accounts for 40% or 50% of all female homicides.  Shocking but absolutely true.

The statistics in Australia are not good either.  There is on average more than one domestic homicide in Australia per week and based on recent events, I suspect the statistics will be higher for 2008.

So, you’re stuck (temporarily) in an abusive relationship until you get your new life organized.  You need to know which abusive traits are strong predictors to homicide.

* Abuse during pregnancy is a major red flag.  Being abused during pregnancy increases a woman’s risk of intimate partner homicide by nine times.  Read that again, nine times - remember Laci Peterson?  So, no matter what, if your partner is physically or emotionally abusive during your pregnancy, take immediate action.

* Take death threats seriously.  Men who murder their wives often threaten to do so before they do it.

* Remove or hide all guns and ammunition from the home.

* Report domestic violence. It’s understandable to be concerned that reporting domestic violence to the police is going to make the situation at home worse.  However, the incidence of domestic homicide is lower in relationships where the abuser has been charged with the crime.

* Keep your plans (to leave) a secret and leave when the abuser is not home.  Take extra special care for the first 12 months after leaving.  Your risk is heightened during this time especially when the abuser is really controlling (aren’t they all?)

* Reach out.  As well as reporting the abuse, you can reach out to family, friends and local domestic violence agencies.

I want to finish this post by saying that there are a lot of people who care about women who live in a domestic nightmare.   Don’t suffer alone or in silence.

Why battered women don’t leave…

In choosing my Domestic Violence awareness month topic this week, I reflected on a conversation I had with my sister some months ago.  I asked her what she’d like to know about domestic violence.

She said, “why don’t they just leave, Rel?  Like, why do the women stay?  I don’t get that.”

The most commonly ascribed ‘clinical’ theory is battered women’s syndrome.  Battered women’s syndrome is said to be a form of post-traumatic stress. The syndrome has four stages:

1) Denial – she denies to herself and everyone else that the abuse is taking place.

2) Guilt – she acknowledges that there is abuse taking place but believes she brought it on herself and is therefore responsible for it.

3) Enlightenment – she recognizes that no-one deserves to be abused and relinquished responsibility.  She stays in the relationship hoping to work things out.

4) Responsibility – she concedes that the abuser is not going to change and she decides to leave and get on with her life.

Learned helplessness is another theory sometimes used to explain why women stay.  As the name suggests, learned helplessness is a condition where the victim of abuse fails to recognize their ability to change or escape from an unpleasant or destructive situation.

And to all that I say clinical-sminical!   Here’s a summary of the reality that one woman faced when trying to leave her abusive husband.  I’m sure she is not alone in her experience.

You can’t escape him.  He has access to the same places you do and when he finds you, the abuse he inflicts will be worse than ever.

In order to hide the abuse, you’ve become isolated and now have no-where to go.  If you do have friend or family to turn to – are you really going to drag them into this tangled mess?  (In this woman’s case, a police officer actually told her that her violent husband was her problem and she had no right inflicting him on anyone else).

He’s and expert liar so you call the police, he explains you’re out of your mind, the police believe him and bring him home.  Similarly, professionals have a hard time believing a quiet, educated man would do the things you accuse him of.

Your pastor tells you that love conquers all and to “turn the other cheek”.

You end up in couples counseling with a counselor who tells you both that you need to communicate and trust more openly.   Despite her assurances to the contrary, the counsellor raises issues you’ve told them in confidence.  Your husband appears to consider these issues – he nods, looks reflective and says all the right things.  The self satisfied counsellor sends you on your way to work on the issues.  You get home and your husband beats the living daylights you of you.

This women ended up getting away from her husband but I’ll end this post by quoting from her letter.

“I still remember with special bitterness the psychiatrist, doctors, and policemen who told me that I must enjoy such treatment, or I would never put up with it.”

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Christine tells me that October is DV awareness month in the USA.  I’d like to start our discussion on the subject by looking at a less publicized aspect of DV – sibling abuse.

Sibling abuse is defined as being physical, emotional or sexual abuse of a child carried out by a sibling.  Sounds obvious, I know, but there’s more to it than you might think.  Sibling sexual abuse is clear case of abuse but where are the boundaries for (sibling) physical and emotional abuse?   If you have children (or brothers and sisters), I challenge you to recall a week where you didn’t observe (or participate in) a fight of some description. The main difference between sibling rivalry and sibling abuse is that in the case of abuse, one child is always the victim and the other child is always the aggressor. 

Let’s look at some specific examples:

Physical

* hitting             * slapping         * shoving       * punching

* biting              * choking          * kicking        * excessive tickling

Emotional

* teasing            * name calling     * belittling     * ridiculing

* intimidating   * annoying          * provoking    * destroy victim’s belongings

* threaten or harm family pet to elicit an emotional response from the victim

Sexual

* unwanted touching     * indecent exposure    * attempted penetration

* intercourse                     * rape                              * sodomy

Siblings may experience physical, emotional or sexual abuse in isolation or in any combination.  It’s important to note that emotional abuse is always present in physical and/or sexual abuse.

The University of Michigan’s Sibling Abuse page suggests that the following signs may suggest that sibling abuse is taking place:

* One child always avoids their sibling

* Changes in behavior such as eating and sleeping habits and nightmares

* Reenacting abuse during play

* Inappropriate sexually based play

* Violence between siblings escalates over time

* Constant complaints to parents

* Abusing a younger sibling in turn

In my post next week, I will discuss risk factors and preventative measures.   In the meantime, really watch the ‘play’ that takes place between your children.  Is there any cause for concern?