When is it too much stress? by Karen Fainges

We all have very busy lives. Sometimes it gets a bit too much. So how do you tell when you have writer’s cramp or you are just too stressed out to write?

Everyone has different symptoms. The main thing is to become aware of yours. Do you start biting your nails, or scratch at skin irritations? Do you get cold sores or catch every sniffle going around? My husband worries every time I listen to a particular piece of music or watch a certain video. For some reason I return to them like a child’s comforting blanket without even being aware of it sometimes.

And sometimes, despite taking care of yourself, things happen that make it all too hard. When that happens – you have to take care of yourself. Make that doctor’s appointment or visit to a counsellor. Stress is a medical condition just like a cold or a broken leg. Just like those, sometimes you have to take medicine and healing takes time. Don’t discount it just because it is something you can’t see.

Now those empathic ones amongst you are thinking – ah, she has had to deal with stress. Yep, diagnosed with depression. And guilty of letting it go on way too long. Don’t let yourself drag on, get help. It is actually a really good feeling when you realise, ‘ hey  a lot of people feel like this’.

It is possible to stop feeling down and get back on your feet. It isn’t just a normal part of a busy life, but something you have to work at, just like keeping to a diet, or regular exercise. And then everything – including writing becomes easier.

Keep going

I’ve recently taken to doing 10 minute meditations first thing in the morning before work.  (Yes, even before I pour myself a coffee.)  My inner voice has been whispering to me for a while (*ahem* years) to sit down and listen.  

All the meditations I’m doing at the moment are based on the Chakras and they’re all from Youtube (because I get bored doing the same ones over and over).   

Like most meditation novices, my unruley mind wanders off a lot but that’s ok, I know this will improve with practice.  This morning, I tried a new guided Chakra Flower meditation.  It was lovely all the way through and I was able to focus better than usual.  At the end, the narrator said it was time to  receive a gift from a higher power.  The gift could be an image, an idea, a feeling – anything at all.   

My gift was two words “keep going”.  Timely really because I feel like I’m not getting anywhere with my writing and I’ve had another setback with my health this week. 

But the message was clear so I’m going to keep going.  I’m going to keep putting one foot in front of the other and do the next indicated thing…which right now is to get this post loaded up on-time.

15 Favourites by Karen Fainges

Read the first chapter online for free

Recently I was asked by a friend to list my 15 favourite books – ones that stuck with me. I found it harder than I thought. My husband was no help, saying “Tell them Adhesives that work by V Elcro”.

Once I had hit him with a cushion, I stopped to think, what does make a book stick with me? For me, it is one of two things, passion or the ability to make me stop and rethink. If a book has both, it goes on my top 15 list.

One of my favourite authors I am rereading at the moment is Tamora Pierce.  Her Tortall series of books is supposedly for children and although my daughter loves her too, I find myself reading the ink of the page (or the pixels off the screen seeing I read ebooks). She makes me laugh, cry and sit back with shock. She examines people’s motivations without ever getting bogged down. Like a Chinese painting, she portrays incredible scenes with a few slight strokes.

It is the simplicity I like, allowing us to look through the eyes of her characters without judging or noticebly guiding the reader. When writing, I often find myself dropping into preaching mode when trying to make a point. I immediately delete that passage, only to find myself doing it again as soon as I relax. Caring passionately about something is important, but preaching about it is like trying to shoe a fish, frustrates both you and the fish and it’s ultimately pointless.

Actions speak louder than words. Tamora’s characters gently show the consequences of evil actions,  mine tend to just rip the evil guy’s head off. Still it takes all sorts. Which way do you prefer?

The Worst Thing

The surest way I have ever found to get myself out of writer’s block is to ask, “What is the absolute worst thing you can do to your character?”  Bujold put me on to the idea and I love her for it. Find the one thing that would really disturb the character and do it. This tends to work in two ways.

1. You really have to get to know their motivations to answer that question, and
2. They start to do all sorts of interesting things to avoid it.

One of my favourite characters that I have ever written was born from just this process. The world I was writing was based very strongly on survival of the fittest. So what if they met someone who was surviving quite well but was in a wheel chair? How would they cope?

To my considerable surprise, the main character fell head over heels in love with her. Who knew he had it in him? As I typed, I could see it unfold and really threw me. No one reacted the way I thought they would. I really got to know them in a whole new way and the characters became a lot more real. Just like us, facing adversity really made them grow as people and gave them substance.

            One of my favourite movies is Soapdish. A line in that movie goes something like, “I’m normal, who wants to watch me on TV?” While characters can be normal people, they should always be given something extraordinary to overcome, losing the farm, finding their father’s murderer, finding the ‘Forgotten Crystal of Doom’, whatever the genre, giving them something to battle makes them interesting. And what should they battle? Well ask yourself – what is the worst thing that can happen to them? And see what happens.

Writing is a bit like love.

During a recent text conversation, Linda (a new friend), said she was writing the first draft of a story. Naturally I asked her how it was going.  She said it was hard work. I told her that I think writing is like love…if it hurts, you’re doing it wrong.

I’m glad this was a text conversation, otherwise Linda (who doesn’t seem like a violent person) may’ve been tempted to clock me.

I really wasn’t trying to be annoying or patronizing and in the days following this conversation, I had cause to eat my words. I was editing the second draft of a non-fiction manuscript and I was feeling every single word. It was nothing short of a g-r-i-n-d.  I shared this information with Linda, she seemed pleased.

I’ve thought more about my assertion that writing is like love and have refined it a little. I now realise that (for me) writing the first draft is like love. Here’s how:

It demands courage, faith and willingness;
It requires great commitment;
It thrives on honesty;
You can’t force it or make it happen;
You can’t rush it – it takes time to fully develop;
It benefits from compassion and wisdom;
It’s powerful, energizing and uplifting;
It’s consuming and deeply satisfying;
It feels really good when you’re doing it right;
It makes your heart and soul sing;
Sometimes you need to step back to regain a healthy perspective;

So, that’s where I stand on the issue.  I wonder if I’ve left something off that list?